i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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