I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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