Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
