oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
