did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I love you.
Bad choice
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
