Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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