but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
is it fun? or sober?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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