i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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