the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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