we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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