I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
