Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
