remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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