The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Its about making memories worth repressing
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
