Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
