I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
