wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
whose parrot is this?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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