ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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