Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
