2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
