pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Me too!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
