my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
