Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
