Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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