ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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