First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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