We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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