I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
