Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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