it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
