I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
