4 words: hood of his car
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
