he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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