DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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