I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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