his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
