Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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