When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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