so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
