I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
