those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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