dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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