I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
