she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
