you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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