What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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