You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
