Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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