before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
