wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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