i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
as a side note pls kill me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
